I want to design your tattoo. How bout it? Have you always wanted one, but never pulled the trigger because you can't zero in on something you would want to have on your body until you're dead in a ditch? Easy solution – let me do it for you. All I'll need from you is an answer to each of the following questions:

• What's the last thing you cried about? (you can lie if the real answer is too personal)
• Do you prefer to hold a book when you read, or do you prefer an ebook, or an audiobook, or is reading for pleasure just not your thing?
• When you were a kid – let's say like 5th grade – what was your idea of the best school lunch? Could be purchased in the cafeteria, could be brought from home.
• What's your safe word? If you don't have one, what would it be?
• Using five words or less, tell me what happens when you die. Like, afterlife-wise.

Here's the thing – this tattoo will be whatever this tattoo is meant to be. I will not be taking requests on subject matter. You're gonna answer those questions, and if an illustration of a goldfish smoking a cigarette arrives on your doorstep, you can't get upset. Because I don't have any control over what your tattoo SHOULD be. Ok?? You're not contractually obligated to tattoo a smoking fish on your body but you are obligated to accept the reality that that is your tattoo. Does that make sense?